Pieces of a Journey

Pieces of a Journey

 

I am an ordinary woman…with dreams and hopes that are extraordinary. My life did not begin in traditional way, I wasn’t raised in the traditional manner. But I was ALWAYS told no matter what or whom you become in life…be a good human being to others. Give of yourself and your compassion. I tried from the very earliest of years to live by those words. Beginning at four years of age, I wanted to see the happiness of others. There was something so amazing about a smile on someone’s face that I had a part of. However People are not Always receptive to these kindness’. I have been looked at as a “con” false” “fake” and “she can’t be real”.

Through four decades I have felt the sting of others that did not receive my gifts of charity, hope and good things that I wished for them. I am not a vengeful person, I do not premeditate to do harm to others. I have hurt people in my lifetime with words that can never be taken from the air in which they were spoken, but forgiveness is all I could ask for to move pass my shortcomings. My life has never been a linear one. I have been a Bob Evans waitress, Walmart Bagger, Hostel housekeeper though different villages of Europe. I have been a wife, and discovered love and ultimately fell in love with the birth of my children. They showed me unconditional love, and look to me for guidance and protection. I loved doing both. I worked my way through school, school being interrupted at times because of a divorce, and raising children, but I did it. Quietly, and having a blast being a mother doing it. I have been accused of being cold, indifferent and heavily guarded. I guess it comes with the territory. My children mean the world to me. They are in so many ways my saving grace through my faith in God and finding answers in intuition. Yet, it didn’t stop the heartaches I suffered along the way. Recognising that these relationships were not to be forever and ever amen. I wanted to make my children proud, I maybe more importantly wanted to make me proud. I continued to want great things for everyone, and left my dreams to the side. I often was devastated by the outcome of the things people did to me. I have been cheated, I have been left, I have been broken by horrific accusations and slander. Yet, again I am mostly Blessed. I still stand, with open heart wanting good things, a life of laughter and love of companionship. About two years ago, when I was diagnosed with cervical and breast cancer (I don’t give these words capitals, because they do not deserve that attention) I will give a capital to MY Personal Relationship with something Greater than myself. I begin to grow closer, and speak to HIM at all times, during this affliction, during laughing with close friends and my children. I work at building a stronger relationship with HIM. I find peace in the eye of a storm, I feel HIS grace when I feel daunted.

Most people will write of these things when they are no longer here, or placed in a memoir that may or may not be published. I wanted those that visit this site to see a piece of my life now…and how I remain standing. The cancer is in remission, but the cancer of others that continue to hurt me and my family and the many accomplishments I have achieved have placed faith of myself, family and close friends and colleagues to the test. I do not feel self-pity, but I can say that the damage that we do to each other, can break down the human spirit. Perhaps in my youth, I am guilty of these things through harsh words or the recklessness of walking away from important friendships or relationships. I am grateful that I learned very quickly to reconcile this behavior. As my life progressed, and my children became adults, I wanted to explore my talent for writing and making films. I soon found that not only did it serve an outlet for the therapy I provided for my clients, but it gave me a chance to explore my creative thoughts and ideas come alive, through novel and film. The children were no longer children, and my life was beginning all over again. I have never been afraid of risk…but I have been wounded by those that were so very unhappy with their lives, they deceived me in ways that will leave a scar. But with open heart.

As recent as 2014, I have yet come under scrutiny and slander with character assassination for the works I have given to those I have known for 30 minutes or 10 years. I would like to say that I am at a happy place, however I am still mending and standing strong with family and friends that simply cares about a person they call, friend, mother and colleague.

Thank you for listening…

God Bless

The Author

And Soar

And Soar

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